Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
