Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
