Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
