Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
