i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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