Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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