yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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