he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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