the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
