I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
