Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
