I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize