"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
