Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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