Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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