Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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