The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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