If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize