No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
