tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
