So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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