I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
