I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
