I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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