Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize