what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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