I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
