so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
