To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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