I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
