About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
