Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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