Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
