I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
