I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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