tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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