I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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