So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
