There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just invented taco cereal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
