ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
