She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
