CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
