let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
