You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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