At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I supernannyed him into submission
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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