Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
