i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
