i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
