I hope mine doesn't look like that
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
