you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
