I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize