hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
