the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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