I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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