i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
