It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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