Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
