do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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