If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
