just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want to make a zoo with you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
