Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.