Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents