oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize