thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.