I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.