Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT