Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
