your thong is hanging out like whoa
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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